HORMLINER EXPRESS
5 STICKERS - 1 VHS - 4 COLLECTOR ITEMS
Go through the dialogue to learn you need to make $500 to progress here.
To get things started, walk to the right. You will see a partition behind the mother where you can listen to her conversation with the kid. Once that’s done, pickpocket the backpack sitting at the mother’s feet to find a Jackie Mantle Jr Baseball Card. Then look at the bench seat to the left of her for Stonks Bull (Sticky Fingers Hormliner 1/5)
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Go back to the left and interact with the guy in front of the door. Talk to to him until there are bribe options. You can either offer him money or the baseball card - doesn't matter which.
There will be a VHS on this train in one of the trash cans or in the red curtains in the background on some cars - again, this item is randomized. So just be sure to check every trash can and curtain you come across until you find Back to the Pasture. (Film Buff 3/7)
As you enter the next car, you will see a guy in a sweater go past you. If you follow him back through the door and pickpocket him, you will find a Zone C Ticket, which will be needed later. Go back to the left, through the door.
On the bench seat to the left of Ted is Karate Frog (Sticky Fingers Hormliner 2/5)
About halfway in you’ll see the dark blue smoker; talk to her (The Smoker 2/4)
There will be a yellow guy sitting on a bench nearby saying “Josie. Josie. Josie.” Talk to him to start a side quest for an achievement. (The Lover 1/5)
Go to the left and talk with the attendant standing by the next door. Keep interacting with her until you are able to tell her "I Have a Ticket".
You can also pickpocket the girl sitting here just below where you're standing to find the Cow Keychain (Collector Item 9/25)
Enter the next train car. Straight away you’ll see the Comedian from previous encounters. Talk with him again. (The Joker 3/5)
There will be a man in a blue vest a little further in, pickpocket him to find a HAMEX card.
With this same guy, wait for the cart attendant to come over. Stand by him and listen to his conversation. Follow him to the left into the next train car. Before going too far though, talk to this first guy in the striped shirt.
Ask him "What does your pin mean" then ask him to teach you about stocks and stuff.
Lorgo and the Flungus
Learned about how the stock market works.
2 guides
After the conversation is over, grab the Finance Paper he placed on the table.
Continue walking to the left now until you reach the bar. On the right side of the bar is a Cowbell (Collector Item 10/25) to grab.
Beside the Cowbell on the water dispenser is Missing Cow? (Sticky Fingers Hormliner 3/5)
After grabbing both of those items, talk to the bartender (we will be seeing them later in the game). Order something to drink. Talk to him (her...?) again to actually be able to order something, you’ll end up with a Glass of Milk. (Collector Item 11/25)
Also be sure to grab the pen off the bar just to the left.
Go to the left and interact with the number pad. To get through this door, enter code 7-4-2-5, ENTER, and go inside. Go to the left and on the floor just past the guy in a blue suit is a Stamp (Sticky Fingers Hormliner 4/5)
Behind the left green chair you can find the Shoe Polish we need for the Shoe Guy. (The Big Sneak 3/6)
Go all the way left and you’ll be able to listen in on a conversation. Be sure to pickpocket everyone here – they have a lot of money on them.
Third Time's a Flungus
Honestly, we just wanted you to hear the word Flungus one more time.
2 guides
(If the above achievement doesn't pop automatically at this point, try to interact with the person sitting here at the very left of the car.)
Go back a couple cars and talk to the yellow guy in the car with the cart attendant. He enjoys stocks and is looking for a tip. You may have to talk to him twice to offer the tip:
- Just pay attention to the Flungus
- Market Smurge
- Rising
- Lorgo’s Quadrilateral Coefficient
- Make an unsecured night trade in SALT
Before you can go any further with him, you will need to provide proof of your tip. So, leave this car to the right and, after walking a short distance, you should get a little cutscene with the Finance Papers. Head back into the car with the Stock Guy wanting proof and talk to him.
(The timing on this is not always the same. If your game took longer to do this, that's ok, just go visit the stocks guy once you get the scene to get the following achievement.)
That's a Good Flungus
Helped a well-meaning stockbroker with a thoroughly-researched tip.
2 guides
Go all the way to the right until you are back in the starting train car. Go to the attendant standing by the right door and Offer him either Money or the Baseball Card (whichever one you didn't offer the first time you spoke with him)
Go right into the Cargo car and interact with the red trash can right here to drop the Shoe Polish in for Shoe Guy. (The Big Sneak 4/6)
Talk to the girl to the right and she will run out. (The Squeaky Stranger 1/5)
Interact with the brown box to the right to find Train Luggage (Sticky Fingers Hormliner 5/5)
Just to the right on the ground is a Cow Purse (Collector Item 12/25)
Sticky Fingers Midlands Hormliner
Found some additions to your sticker collection on a moving train.
2 guides
Moving all the way to the right, you’ll see a blue suitcase. Interact with it and enter code 3-2-2. You’ll get a nice chunk of change. You will also notice Big Daddy in here; keep this in mind – you will need to return to him eventually.
Feel free to turn in your items (plus the VHS you should have found in one of the trash cans), now that you have them all, to the Collector in the Parlour car (all the way to the left). On your way there, be sure everyone has been pickpocketed. Once you’ve given him the 4 items (plus the VHS), go right one car and go to the right side. Interact with the emergency pull to get kicked off the train.
The Dusty Toss
Was politely asked to leave a moving train.
3 guides
Talk to the lady at the ticket booth and you will have to rewind the VHS Tapes again. Once that’s done you’ll be outside the Videoville store. Go to the right and Phone Mari. (Best Friend Shuffle 1/3)
Then Phone your mom. (The Truth 2/3)
Go back inside Videoville and interact with the guy in the wheelchair. This time you need get a score of at least 800. Play the game for a bit then talk to him again once you've beaten his score. (The Skater 2/4)
Leave the store once again and go left. You should see the Wizard Burblo sitting by the bushes.
Grab it then talk to the person in the ticket booth to the left.
Once you're back on the train, go right to enter the Cargo and interact with Big Daddy twice to agree to sell him the Wizard Burblo. (Kids in a Trench 2/6)
Make your way to the train car with the bar and talk to Ted and choose: Let’s go.
Press 
when prompted to move on to the next destination.
The Hormliner Hustle
Conned more money than Ted on your way up the train.
2 guides
6. Las Venganza4. Mallton Mall
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